1 00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:03,332 MARY ALICE: Previously on Desperate Housewives. 2 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:06,669 Bree's affair with her contractor broke new ground. 3 00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:07,832 Perhaps I could make you dinner? 4 00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,171 Like a date? 5 00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:12,235 I can't wait until I grow up so I can have beautiful things. 6 00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:15,645 Gabby doted on her biological daughter, Grace. 7 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,877 Look who's missing her big sister. 8 00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:20,351 Lynette had too much on her hands. 9 00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:21,684 Get me a nanny. 10 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:25,022 Susan found that keeping her new job a secret... 11 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:27,492 My partners are not gonna eat the cost. 12 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,154 $9,000. 13 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,254 ... was going to be expensive. 14 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:35,264 But her secret had already been discovered. 15 00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:44,571 Emma Graham was an ordinary woman. 16 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:49,712 And like most ordinary women, she had an extraordinary dream. 17 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:54,748 She wanted her husband to know she was more than just a wife. 18 00:00:56,389 --> 00:01:00,553 She wanted her daughter to know she was more than just a mother. 19 00:01:01,694 --> 00:01:03,457 She wanted her neighbors to know 20 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:07,125 she was more than just the woman who lived next door. 21 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:12,932 So Emma made a decision to turn her dream into reality. 22 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,473 I want to do a cabaret show. 23 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:17,601 I'll need a band, orchestrations, and sound equipment. 24 00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:19,645 And you're going to pay for all of it. 25 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:27,246 And that is how Emma Graham's friends and neighbors 26 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:31,087 came to gather at the Smokehouse Lounge two weeks later. 27 00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:32,283 (PEOPLE CLAPPING) 28 00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:41,757 They would soon learn Emma Graham wasrt so ordinary after all. 29 00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:49,636 (SINGING) 30 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:46,695 Yes, Emma's dream of sharing her talent had finally come true. 31 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:50,560 Unfortunately, the high note that ended the evening... 32 00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:51,763 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 33 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,806 Did not come from Emma. 34 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,141 I'm going to kill you! 35 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,339 You whore! 36 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,574 Get off me. 37 00:03:01,981 --> 00:03:03,642 Okay, ladies, please. 38 00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:06,642 (GASPING) 39 00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:07,877 Oh, my nose. 40 00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:10,652 My nose. My nose. Oh! 41 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:31,238 MARY ALICE: She knew what she was doing was wrong. 42 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,608 She knew it was very dangerous. 43 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:39,746 She knew the risks if people found out. 44 00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:46,356 But Susan Delfino was determined to get back to Wisteria Lane 45 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:51,456 and that is how her world began to fall apart. 46 00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,130 Hi, I'm Tanya. 47 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:58,064 Thank you for choosing to spend time with me. 48 00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,800 I'm all yours for the next hour. 49 00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:05,100 Now how about we start by getting to know each other a little better? 50 00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:07,436 Show me yourjugs. 51 00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,208 (LAUGHS) 52 00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:12,742 Arert you a frisky little... 53 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:13,979 Ooh! 54 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:17,087 I see some dirt under the coffee table. 55 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,751 Would you like me to vacuum? 56 00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:20,918 Sure. 57 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,258 Right after you take out those tots and shake 'em. 58 00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,560 Okay. Slow down. 59 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,889 We've got... 60 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,498 Fifty-nine more minutes together. 61 00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:33,098 And 62 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,668 isn't it sexier to warm each other up 63 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:41,407 with some naughty talk first? 64 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:45,473 I have to listen to my old lady's blah-blah-blah all day long. 65 00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:48,076 Lose the top so I can see those money-makers. 66 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,986 What are you, reading from a boob thesaurus? 67 00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:53,589 Come on, 68 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:58,120 isn't there some romantic fantasy you'd like to share with me? 69 00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:00,526 Okay. 70 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,295 Are you lactating? 71 00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,297 Oh! Pig! 72 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,538 You never do that. You never pull the plug on a session. 73 00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,509 The guy was a total perv. 74 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:14,478 Who clearly had serious mother issues. 75 00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,880 You cost us a major client. 76 00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:20,009 And God forbid he starts talking about this at work. 77 00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:22,316 We could lose the whole city council. 78 00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:27,292 I'm sorry. I lost my nerve. 79 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:31,320 Susan, I can't keep giving you chances like this. 80 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,496 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 81 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,864 Va-Va-Va-Broom. 82 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,235 Oh, you want a private session with Tanya? 83 00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,708 I'm sorry, that's not going to happen. 84 00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:46,501 She doesn't work for me anymore. 85 00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,044 Once again, I am so sorry. 86 00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:56,350 I forgot that French restaurant was so formal. 87 00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:01,384 Next time I will pick a place with fewer forks. 88 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:04,328 Yeah, thanks again for helping me out with that. 89 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,229 Well, I had a lot of fun. 90 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:09,760 Good night. 91 00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,330 Keith, 92 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,172 did you really have a lot of fun? 93 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,233 Yeah. 94 00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:18,538 Why do you ask? 95 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,873 Well, because it's our third date 96 00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:24,280 and you just kissed me like you were saying good night to your aunt. 97 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,844 I'm trying to treat you like a lady. 98 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:30,020 Oh, that's sweet. 99 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,717 Now, knock it off. 100 00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:38,754 Three times? 101 00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,089 In one night. 102 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:43,397 Oh, my God. Three times was my entire September. 103 00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:47,028 I just had the nicest chat with Grace. 104 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,701 She said the cutest thing... 105 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,709 Bree had sex three times last night. 106 00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:52,772 Oh, screw my story. Tell me everything. 107 00:06:53,212 --> 00:06:54,440 Okay. 108 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,045 The sex was amazing. 109 00:06:57,383 --> 00:06:59,977 It was like... How to describe it? 110 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,144 (GASPS) 111 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,245 An opera. 112 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,314 You fell asleep during it? 113 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,817 I'm telling you. Making love to a man in his thirties, 114 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:11,660 it's like the sun shines brighter, the grass looks greener, 115 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:12,789 food tastes better... 116 00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:15,129 Okay, we get it. You had sex three times. 117 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:16,259 Three! 118 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,667 Oh! Hey, look, Renee's back from New York. 119 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,935 Oh, God. You invited her? 120 00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:24,101 What, now you don't like Renee? 121 00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,507 I know she's your friend, 122 00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:30,174 but isn't she kind of a self-absorbed, narcissistic diva? 123 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,915 Good point. We already have one of those. 124 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:39,148 Drop the drugstore champagne, ladies, and make way for the real stuff. 125 00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:40,954 We are celebrating! 126 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,289 What's the occasion? 127 00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:46,062 My divorce settlement. I just soaked my ex for... 128 00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,400 Well, a whole lot of these. 129 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,799 I thought there was a pre-nup. 130 00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:50,995 Yup, there was. 131 00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:52,435 But no pre-nup is a match 132 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,804 for the legal team of Grind'em, Screw'em, and Rothenberg. 133 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,468 - That was iced tea. - Well, I just made it fun. 134 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,973 Now, I want to have you all over for dinner tonight. 135 00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:04,915 I've got two more cases of champagne, a truck-load of caviar, 136 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:07,146 and a pile of money to roll around naked in. 137 00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:09,445 What do you say? 138 00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:12,120 If there's more of this, I am definitely there. 139 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,016 Great. How about you, Bree? 140 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,288 I wish I could, but I have a date. I need to carbo-load. 141 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,525 I've got to pass, too. We still haven't found a nanny, 142 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,430 and so Tom's working late, so I have to... 143 00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:22,764 Yawn. Susan? 144 00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:26,203 I would, but it's macaroni and coupon clipping night at my house. 145 00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:27,830 Yawn and sad. 146 00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:31,035 Well, I guess it's just you and me. 147 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,543 "Gabs and Nee." 148 00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:34,978 That is great. 149 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,643 We were just talking about how much you two have in common. 150 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,481 Werert we, Gabs? 151 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,221 Thanks so much. Your baby's really cute. 152 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,282 It was nice meeting you. We'll let you know. 153 00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,623 Thanks. 154 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:51,522 Well, any luck finding a nanny? 155 00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,861 No. I've interviewed eight girls, 156 00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:57,232 they were all either too inexperienced or too expensive. 157 00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:58,361 Hmm. 158 00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,336 What about the one with the boobs? 159 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,368 And that's why we're not hiring her. 160 00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:05,167 Well, don't give up yet. 161 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,180 Because I found us one more applicant. 162 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,547 You did? You took the initiative? 163 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,679 Why you so surprised? 164 00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:16,420 Our Christmas lights are still up from last year. 165 00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:17,716 (CAR DOOR SLAMS) 166 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:21,017 And not only is she punctual, she's early. 167 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,550 Who is it? 168 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,821 Let me put it this way, Lynette. 169 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:28,027 Remember how you always used to hate yams? 170 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,331 But then you gave them a second chance, and they werert so bad. 171 00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:35,240 And over time you realized, "I like yams. Yams are great." 172 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:39,372 Well, sometimes, Lynette, people are like yams. 173 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,043 What did you do? 174 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,277 (GASPS) 175 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,677 Are you insane? 176 00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,209 I was talking to her last night, 177 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,018 I mentioned we might need help and she volunteered. 178 00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:52,183 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 179 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,282 You get it. 180 00:09:58,864 --> 00:09:59,922 Tommy! 181 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,193 Mom! 182 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,296 Why couldn't she have been a yam? 183 00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:12,476 Okay. So this Tina, 184 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:14,979 was that the first time he cheated on you? 185 00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:17,948 Ah, I don't know. You hear stories... 186 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,143 There was this thing during the All-Star game. 187 00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:25,554 Pictures of Doug in the tabloids with a cocktail waitress. 188 00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:28,052 But then he came back with a Bulgari bracelet, 189 00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,789 so we never talked about it. 190 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:34,423 God, being married to a pro athlete. It must be a nightmare. 191 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,403 Well, sounds like you're well rid of him. 192 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,772 You know, I feel like you get me, Gabby. 193 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,309 And you know why? 194 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,838 Because we're both extremely beautiful. 195 00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:55,614 God bless you for having the courage to say that. 196 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,952 Only someone who looks like us 197 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,321 can understand what a burden it can be. 198 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,785 Actually, it's pretty awesome. 199 00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:03,886 (LAUGHING) 200 00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:07,622 You know, sometimes I drive fast on purpose 201 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,363 just to see if I can flirt my way out of the ticket. 202 00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:11,835 Amateur hour. 203 00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:14,668 I got a bank manager to shave a point off our mortgage 204 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,708 by bending over to pick up a pencil. 205 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,643 To this day Carlos calls it my million-dollar ass. 206 00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,277 Wait, I can top that. 207 00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:26,641 Yesterday, these babies earned me a cool $8 million. 208 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:27,810 What do you mean? 209 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,279 Well, I wore a low-cut dress to my settlement hearing. 210 00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:36,958 And afterwards, Doug's lawyer came to my hotel to renegotiate. 211 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,355 You slept with him? You're awful. 212 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:41,895 I know. 213 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,670 Oh, I shouldn't have told you that. 214 00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,662 Keep it to yourself. 215 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,800 Honey, I won't tell anyone. 216 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,068 Um. 217 00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:54,170 I don't know you well enough. 218 00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,976 You've got to give me some dirt on you. 219 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,213 Huh. 220 00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:05,854 I can't think of anything. 221 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,256 Really? 222 00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:11,759 Nothing like, say, plastic surgery? 223 00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,723 What? 224 00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:17,064 Honey, a scalpel has never touched this body. 225 00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:20,594 Maybe not the body, but that nose is a Dr. Brotski. 226 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,331 I'd know his work anywhere. 227 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:26,867 How dare you! I am insulted! 228 00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:32,548 Okay, fine. I was 19. It was just a little bump. 229 00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,586 (LAUGHS) That's what they all say. 230 00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:36,211 Did you have a deviated septum, too? 231 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,389 Don't tell anyone. 232 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,516 Carlos knows, 233 00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:41,924 but if the girls find out, I'd never hear the end of it. 234 00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:44,356 Of course, you can trust me. 235 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:45,727 I'm beautiful. 236 00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:48,590 That's true. 237 00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,029 Good morning. 238 00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:56,239 Good morning, sweetheart. 239 00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:57,937 Still not speaking to you. 240 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,578 All right. 241 00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:03,472 Your breakfast will be ready in a minute. 242 00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,981 You want coffee. I'll get it. 243 00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:11,814 Your scrambled eggs are ready. 244 00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:14,658 Oh, Mom, I was hoping for your French toast. 245 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:16,925 She made you eggs, Tom. Eat them. 246 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,724 No, it's no problem. 247 00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:21,927 You read your paper and I'll fix it right up, Rodney. 248 00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:23,826 Tommy, Mom. 249 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:25,761 Oh, didn't I say that? 250 00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,898 Oh, it's just that you look so much like your father. 251 00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:29,965 (PAIGE CRYING THROUGH BAB Y MONITOR) 252 00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:32,169 Oh, gosh. What now? 253 00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,177 Let me get her, it's what I'm here for. 254 00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:40,779 Would you look at that? My mother is on top of it. 255 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,789 And you get to sit and have coffee 256 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,484 with the man that you kicked three times 257 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,082 "in your sleep" last night. 258 00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:50,191 Look, I can take your mother in small doses, 259 00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,696 but her living here, every day... 260 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,325 I never got what this thing is you have with her. 261 00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:59,030 You say you love her, she's great with the kids. What's your beef? 262 00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:00,765 Okay. You really want to know what it is? 263 00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:02,706 - Yeah. - Okay. 264 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,800 I can't stand the person she turns you into. 265 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,471 You become this Neanderthal 266 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:10,107 while she's tripping over her apron strings to serve you. 267 00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:12,777 So she likes to dote on me and I don't mind the attention, 268 00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:13,876 what's the big deal? 269 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,446 False alarm. 270 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:16,986 She's fine. 271 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,182 Thank you. 272 00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:20,357 And by the way... 273 00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:21,552 - More coffee. - Yes. 274 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,117 Right away. 275 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:26,563 Just know if you ever hold your coffee cup up to me, 276 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,327 you will be tapping it with a stump. 277 00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:37,832 Mike! I was going to call you. 278 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,367 I was talking to Paul Young. 279 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:42,903 He and the new missus are really enjoying the house. 280 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,040 - Are they? - Yeah. 281 00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:47,415 And Paul was wondering if you would be interested in selling the place. 282 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:50,512 He's willing to make a very generous offer. 283 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:54,815 Lee, I never kicked your ass for renting our house to that guy 284 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,225 'cause you didn't know our history. 285 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,994 But now you do. 286 00:14:58,163 --> 00:15:00,427 So I've got to wonder, are you an idiot? 287 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,361 I'm sorry. Paul wanted me to ask. 288 00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:06,501 Susan and I are working really hard to save money. 289 00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:08,529 You tell Paul that the day his lease is up, 290 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,439 we're moving home. 291 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:12,503 (PHONE RINGING) 292 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,136 Hello. 293 00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:16,545 Hey, it's me. I just ran into Mike. 294 00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,180 Did you ask him about the house? 295 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,213 Yeah. He wasrt interested. 296 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,914 Did you tell him I'm willing to pay above market value? 297 00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:25,115 I could have, but I didn't want to get punched. 298 00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,618 You disappoint me, Lee. 299 00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:29,524 There are other houses, Paul. 300 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,859 No, I need this one. 301 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,896 Fortunately, I have another way to handle this. 302 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,968 Your deposit should clear Monday. And this will be your balance. 303 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:47,739 Wait, this isn't right. 304 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,647 We should have a lot more money in here. 305 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,951 Yes, the silver bracelet that you cleaned last year 306 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,489 that belonged to my grandmother. 307 00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:01,621 What do you think it's won'th? 308 00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,824 Okay. Yeah, I'll come by tomorrow. 309 00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:15,835 Hey. 310 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:20,477 - Hey. - Hi. 311 00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,411 Here's that gold necklace you lent me. 312 00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:24,848 What do you need it for? You guys going on a fancy date? 313 00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,309 No, I just... 314 00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,816 I just needed it back. 315 00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:30,946 You okay? 316 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:32,850 Uh-huh. 317 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:34,759 You want to talk about something? 318 00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:37,592 I can't. 319 00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:39,659 - Oh! Oh! - (CRYING) 320 00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,298 Um, I'm gonna find you a tissue. 321 00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:51,602 Susan, I was just at the bank. 322 00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:54,134 We're missing $9,000 from our checking account. 323 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:55,612 You went to the bank? 324 00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,140 MIKE: What the hell is going on? Did you take that money out? 325 00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,275 Yes... 326 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:01,879 Susan? 327 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,347 Susan, what happened to that money? 328 00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,323 She lent it to me. 329 00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:10,653 We had some bills from Paige's birth that werert covered by insurance, 330 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,893 and Susan very kindly offered to help us out. 331 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,325 That's right. 332 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:20,634 And she's going to pay it back by... By Friday. 333 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:21,965 With interest. 334 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:24,801 Or not. 335 00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:28,973 Because... I mean, we're friends. So, why would you charge us interest? 336 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,379 I gotta get back to work. 337 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,415 In case any of our other friends need money. 338 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:42,785 (EXHALES) 339 00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:43,886 Thank you so much. 340 00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:45,827 You're so welcome. 341 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:50,699 Anything you want to tell me? 342 00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,231 Yeah. 343 00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:55,268 But promise you won't yell. 344 00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,842 You did porn on the Internet? 345 00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:01,010 No, it was just cleaning. In lingerie. 346 00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:04,011 I was never naked. There was no sex. 347 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,417 Well, unless the guys were watching for cleaning tips, it's porn. 348 00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:09,716 Susan, how could you do this? 349 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,246 Look, I feel bad enough already. 350 00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,392 Well, you should. What if Mike finds out? Or your kids? 351 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:18,760 Hey! It is really easy for you to come down here 352 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,891 from your five-bedroom house in the suburbs and criticize me. 353 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:24,596 I am not on Wisteria Lane anymore. 354 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:28,299 Look at what Mike and I are trying to climb out of. 355 00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:31,042 We can't even afford hot lunches for MJ at school. 356 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:33,636 So just think about that the next time you want to judge me. 357 00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:43,653 Okay. Done judging. 358 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:46,482 Back to being a friend. 359 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,926 I'm sorry you had to do that. 360 00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:54,964 Me, too. 361 00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:00,565 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 362 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:05,801 Doug, what are you doing here? 363 00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:07,935 I had to see you. 364 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,340 Well, I'd invite you in, but it's late and I hate you. 365 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:15,116 Baby, I flew all this way. At least hear me out. 366 00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:22,415 If it's about the settlement, you're wasting your breath. 367 00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:24,620 I miss you. 368 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:26,922 Well, how does Tina feel about that? 369 00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:29,657 That was a stupid mistake, and it's over. 370 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,164 I know I screwed up. 371 00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:36,541 Big this time. But give me another chance. 372 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,302 (SIGHS) 373 00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:42,375 I'm sorry, Doug, but I'm actually happy here. 374 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,510 I'm getting a fresh start and making new friends. 375 00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:50,316 Come on, you can't be happy here in Mayberry. 376 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,789 You were made for Manattan. 377 00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:54,485 By the way, Can'tier called. 378 00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,520 They miss you, too. 379 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,029 Oh, Doug, don't do this to me. 380 00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:03,863 Think about everything we had together. 381 00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:05,563 I want it back. 382 00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:07,865 Don't you? 383 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:15,073 Oh, I can't stop thinking about that play. 384 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,876 What do you think the angel represented 385 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:20,009 when he flew down in the middle of the night? 386 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,748 I don't know. I was too busy looking for the wires. 387 00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:29,517 So, are you in the mood for some dessert? 388 00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,360 Totally. 389 00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:36,862 I think the angel symbolized hope. 390 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:41,168 Or a second chance at redemption, perhaps. 391 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,908 Of course, another interpretation, I suppose, could be... 392 00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:51,346 Oh, my! 393 00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:55,685 When you said dessert, I just assumed... 394 00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,217 Well, there's no two ways to interpret that. 395 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,654 (GASPS) 396 00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:07,597 That was incredible. Where did you learn to do that? 397 00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,726 And why the hell am I asking? Don't tell me. 398 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,238 Let's just say you inspire me. 399 00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,001 (GASPS) Oh! 400 00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:22,979 Well, that'll teach me to let you walk behind me up the stairs. 401 00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:24,174 (MOANING) 402 00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:27,943 What is that? 403 00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:32,785 I guess inspiration struck again. 404 00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:36,785 Hi. 405 00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:40,959 Please tell me you're here to stab me. 406 00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:42,925 What? 407 00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:44,664 Nothing. 408 00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:46,226 Come on in. 409 00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:57,810 What's that? 410 00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:59,111 Crudit�s. 411 00:21:59,785 --> 00:22:01,650 Arert they supposed to be sliced and peeled? 412 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,415 I'm too tired. 413 00:22:03,955 --> 00:22:05,980 (GASPS) Please get that away from me. 414 00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:09,625 I guess someone was with Keith last night. 415 00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:12,960 Were you once, twice, three times not a lady? 416 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:17,264 It's not funny. Six hours, we had sex. 417 00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:18,667 I feel like the Holland Tunnel. 418 00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:20,838 Honey, why don't you just tell him you need a little break? 419 00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:21,964 Because he's young. 420 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:24,976 If I turn down a roll in the hay, he's gonna think I'm an old woman. 421 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,171 You just said "roll in the hay." 422 00:22:27,245 --> 00:22:29,042 I think that ship has sailed. 423 00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:30,240 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 424 00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:32,642 Oh, I better figure out how to slow him down 425 00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:35,653 before this John Wayne walk becomes permanent. 426 00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,154 Coming. 427 00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:40,690 - Hi. - RENEE: Hey. 428 00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:42,017 Come on in. 429 00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:43,152 Hey, girls. 430 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,355 - Hey. - Hey. 431 00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:45,487 You are just in time. 432 00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:48,328 I mixed up a signature drink in honor of your divorce. 433 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,392 I wouldn't pour that just yet. 434 00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:55,171 I'm starting to rethink this whole divorce thing. 435 00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:56,736 Doug showed up last night. 436 00:22:56,808 --> 00:22:58,241 He flew in from New York? 437 00:22:58,710 --> 00:22:59,904 I know. 438 00:23:00,278 --> 00:23:02,678 He said it's over with Tina. 439 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,341 He wants me back. 440 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,908 And he gave me this. 441 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,347 Oh, Doug screws up a lot, 442 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,881 but his apologies are always the Fourth of July. 443 00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:17,053 Wow. Tom's apologies are more like Arbor Day. 444 00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:18,421 But he cheated on you. 445 00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:19,623 Okay. 446 00:23:19,831 --> 00:23:23,824 A guy who has women throwing themselves at him in every city? 447 00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:26,599 Meanwhile, we had 10 great years. 448 00:23:26,671 --> 00:23:28,298 And he loved me and cared for me 449 00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,900 and I think I should give him another chance. 450 00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:32,735 Am I crazy? 451 00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:36,238 Well, you have invested 10 years in the marriage. 452 00:23:36,314 --> 00:23:39,181 No one goes that long without a few bumps in the road. 453 00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:40,775 Okay then, I'm doing it. 454 00:23:41,386 --> 00:23:42,444 Are you insane? 455 00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,779 The man dumped you for another woman! 456 00:23:44,856 --> 00:23:47,256 Well, he apologized. Can't I forgive him? 457 00:23:47,325 --> 00:23:48,383 GABRIELLE: Why? 458 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,523 Because he gave you a stupid ring? 459 00:23:50,562 --> 00:23:51,927 He's buying you off again. 460 00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:53,362 Open your eyes. 461 00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:54,592 RENEE: Hey. 462 00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:56,759 It's my marriage anyway. 463 00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:59,565 Why don't you just keep your fake nose out of it? 464 00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:08,138 What does she mean "fake"? 465 00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:10,807 Gabrielle Solis, did you have a nose job? 466 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,316 Hello? We're talking about Trampy McTrinket! 467 00:24:15,587 --> 00:24:19,546 After all these years of you bragging about your natural beauty... 468 00:24:19,591 --> 00:24:21,218 Oh, I never bragged. 469 00:24:21,259 --> 00:24:23,489 You once called your face, "Proof of God's existence." 470 00:24:23,562 --> 00:24:26,087 You said I was a fraud for wearing a padded swimsuit. 471 00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:29,794 And now we find out you've had plastic surgery. 472 00:24:29,901 --> 00:24:32,665 - Ooh! That changes everything. - Mmm-hmm. 473 00:24:32,737 --> 00:24:34,068 No, it doesn't. 474 00:24:34,105 --> 00:24:35,333 It wasrt plastic surgery. 475 00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:38,774 It was corrective rhinoplasty for a deviated... 476 00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:42,673 You will regret this. 477 00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:46,679 Oh, Gabby, come on, we're kidding. 478 00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,809 Don't get your nose out of joint. 479 00:24:57,128 --> 00:25:00,120 MARY ALICE: Bree Van De Kamp had a problem. 480 00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:04,693 Her boyfriend's sexual appetite was proving to be exhausting. 481 00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:09,937 And then out of the blue, Bree came up with a solution. 482 00:25:10,809 --> 00:25:13,676 Since Keith's demands were overwhelming her, 483 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:18,780 why not make some overwhelming demands of her own? 484 00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:22,043 Wow. There's a lot of work here. 485 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,151 I guess I could get it done by Friday. 486 00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:26,884 No, I'm going to need it sooner than that. 487 00:25:26,958 --> 00:25:28,789 Certainly by tonight. 488 00:25:34,132 --> 00:25:35,258 (SIGHS) 489 00:25:37,135 --> 00:25:38,534 LYNETTE: Hey. 490 00:25:38,603 --> 00:25:40,400 Allison made you your favorite cookies for your trip. 491 00:25:40,472 --> 00:25:41,564 Macaroons? 492 00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:42,732 Oatmeal raisin. 493 00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,732 Those are my dad's favorites. 494 00:25:44,809 --> 00:25:48,643 Maybe you can trade them with the boy next to you on the plane for his snack. 495 00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:52,246 Make fun, but you have to admit, she's been great with the baby. 496 00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:54,148 She has been great. 497 00:25:54,185 --> 00:25:55,675 You were right, I was wrong. 498 00:25:56,755 --> 00:26:01,715 Oh, if only these were macaroons, this would be the best day of my life. 499 00:26:02,994 --> 00:26:04,086 Call me when you land. 500 00:26:04,162 --> 00:26:05,220 See you later. 501 00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:09,995 So, can I help with the lasagna? 502 00:26:10,035 --> 00:26:12,503 Actually, the boys said they wanted meatloaf. 503 00:26:12,537 --> 00:26:13,663 So I switched the menu. 504 00:26:13,705 --> 00:26:14,729 Now sit. 505 00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:15,967 All right. 506 00:26:16,341 --> 00:26:19,504 So, Tom was telling me about you going back to work. 507 00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,241 I must say, I don't understand that. 508 00:26:23,315 --> 00:26:24,839 Well, that's 509 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,342 okay. 510 00:26:29,187 --> 00:26:30,279 Oh! 511 00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:32,014 What are you doing? 512 00:26:32,490 --> 00:26:33,616 I'm out of milk. 513 00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:35,455 Your grandmother is not here to serve you. 514 00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:36,926 I don't mind, dear. 515 00:26:36,995 --> 00:26:38,394 See? She wants to. 516 00:26:39,364 --> 00:26:40,388 Soda, Gram? 517 00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:41,524 Make it two. 518 00:26:42,033 --> 00:26:43,091 Boys! 519 00:26:43,835 --> 00:26:46,201 Penny, I have to get the meat, 520 00:26:46,237 --> 00:26:47,864 so you get the sodas. 521 00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:49,931 Uh, why? 522 00:26:50,408 --> 00:26:52,706 Why? We have to take care of our men. 523 00:26:54,512 --> 00:26:55,706 Penny, sit. 524 00:26:56,381 --> 00:26:58,645 You boys want a drink, get up and get it. 525 00:26:58,717 --> 00:27:02,483 They have such a long day. Classes and then their afterschool sports. 526 00:27:03,021 --> 00:27:06,457 Allison, in this house, the women don't wait on the men. 527 00:27:06,524 --> 00:27:08,958 The men get off their asses and help themselves. 528 00:27:09,694 --> 00:27:13,596 When did it become a sin to take care of your family? 529 00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:15,964 You modern women, you just plop out a baby 530 00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:18,502 and then you can't wait to get back to your silly careers. 531 00:27:19,204 --> 00:27:21,434 I took care of my boys. 532 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:22,838 When my husband came home, 533 00:27:22,907 --> 00:27:25,967 there was a hot meal waiting for him on the table. 534 00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:28,069 He never wanted for anything. 535 00:27:28,279 --> 00:27:30,008 Yeah and how did that work out for you? 536 00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:31,446 He had an affair and left. 537 00:27:51,436 --> 00:27:52,835 Damn it. 538 00:27:59,944 --> 00:28:02,811 I didn't realize you were still here. Have you been working this whole time? 539 00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:05,509 You said to get it all done today. 540 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,645 So if there is nothing else, 541 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:11,850 I would like to go home and slip into a coma. 542 00:28:11,923 --> 00:28:14,391 Why don't you spend the night here? 543 00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:18,555 I'd hate to see you out there driving when you're so exhausted. 544 00:28:18,997 --> 00:28:20,658 You are exhausted, right? 545 00:28:21,332 --> 00:28:22,697 Totally. 546 00:28:22,767 --> 00:28:25,031 Every part of my body hurts. 547 00:28:25,103 --> 00:28:26,730 Then stay. 548 00:28:26,805 --> 00:28:28,238 Sleep here. 549 00:28:30,775 --> 00:28:34,074 In the morning, I will make you Belgian waffles. 550 00:28:34,145 --> 00:28:38,138 That will be my special thank you for all of your hard work. 551 00:28:53,364 --> 00:28:54,490 Uh. 552 00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,030 What are you doing? 553 00:28:56,067 --> 00:28:58,661 I thought of another way you could thank me. 554 00:28:58,703 --> 00:29:02,400 You said every part of your body was sore. 555 00:29:03,007 --> 00:29:04,838 One part's doing okay. 556 00:29:04,876 --> 00:29:06,104 Okay. 557 00:29:08,146 --> 00:29:09,943 - That's it. - What's wrong? 558 00:29:10,014 --> 00:29:11,072 I can't do it. 559 00:29:11,149 --> 00:29:14,448 I can no longer keep up with you and your Woody Woodpecker sex drive! 560 00:29:14,519 --> 00:29:15,577 What? 561 00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:16,745 I'm just gonna say it, okay? 562 00:29:16,821 --> 00:29:17,879 I'm older than you. 563 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:20,117 I don't have your stamina and I can't keep up. 564 00:29:20,492 --> 00:29:22,585 You? You can't keep up? 565 00:29:23,361 --> 00:29:25,693 I'm dating a woman who talks to waiters in French 566 00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:28,062 and wants to discuss a play's symbolism during halftime. 567 00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:29,123 Intermission. 568 00:29:29,167 --> 00:29:30,395 You see? 569 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:33,097 You're 10 times smarter than me. That's why I keep sexing you up. 570 00:29:33,171 --> 00:29:35,435 I'm trying to keep you interested. 571 00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:45,811 Make no mistake, I am interested. 572 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:51,115 I love when I'm prattling on about the meaning of the angel, 573 00:29:51,189 --> 00:29:53,123 you notice the wires. 574 00:29:53,892 --> 00:29:56,656 You have your own way of seeing the world, 575 00:29:56,728 --> 00:29:59,288 and it's fun, and down to earth, 576 00:30:00,899 --> 00:30:02,992 and everything I'm not. 577 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,804 So you're saying you like me how I am? 578 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:16,773 Wow. I hadrt thought of that. 579 00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:21,080 Yes. 580 00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:22,942 Very much. 581 00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:29,191 Now put that thing away and let's get some rest. 582 00:30:38,303 --> 00:30:39,463 Hi. 583 00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:40,596 Who are you? 584 00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:42,196 Oh, I'm Jenny. 585 00:30:42,273 --> 00:30:43,331 I'm the new nanny. 586 00:30:43,908 --> 00:30:45,102 Yeah. 587 00:30:45,143 --> 00:30:46,508 Isn't it great? 588 00:30:46,945 --> 00:30:49,209 I offered her a little more money and she took the job. 589 00:30:51,783 --> 00:30:53,978 She's the one with the boobs, remember? 590 00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:55,110 Yeah. 591 00:30:55,153 --> 00:30:56,848 You're welcome. 592 00:30:58,823 --> 00:31:00,984 Lynette, can I talk to you upstairs for a minute? 593 00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:02,322 Okay. 594 00:31:05,763 --> 00:31:06,855 I'll be right up. 595 00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:09,291 Oh. Okay. 596 00:31:15,940 --> 00:31:17,305 So, 597 00:31:17,342 --> 00:31:19,139 great news about Jen, huh? 598 00:31:19,177 --> 00:31:20,576 Yeah. 599 00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:22,010 I just fired her. 600 00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:23,240 What? 601 00:31:23,681 --> 00:31:25,342 You have no right to do that. 602 00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:29,979 And you had no right to make my mother feel unwelcomed in my house. 603 00:31:30,021 --> 00:31:32,046 She just wanted to be a part of this family. 604 00:31:32,523 --> 00:31:34,889 Tom, I love your mother and if this were 1955, 605 00:31:34,959 --> 00:31:37,427 I would be so on board with her parenting techniques. 606 00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:41,056 But I will not let her raise our children to turn out like... 607 00:31:41,132 --> 00:31:43,066 Whoa. Finish that sentence. 608 00:31:43,134 --> 00:31:44,328 Turn out like me? 609 00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:46,599 No, no, I didn't say that. 610 00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:49,071 But wait, let's be honest. 611 00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:52,405 When we first met, you thought there were only two roles for women, 612 00:31:52,477 --> 00:31:54,411 making a cake or jumping out of one. 613 00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:57,112 I'm sorry. I just don't want her here. 614 00:31:57,181 --> 00:31:59,672 For our entire marriage, you've been the one who makes the decisions. 615 00:31:59,717 --> 00:32:01,912 "I'm going back to work," "I'm hiring a nanny." 616 00:32:01,986 --> 00:32:04,045 This time I'm making the decision. 617 00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:05,715 She stays. 618 00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:09,450 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 619 00:32:09,527 --> 00:32:12,894 Okay, boys and girls, gather up your supplies and put them away. 620 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,023 See you tomorrow. 621 00:32:14,098 --> 00:32:15,190 (PHONE RINGING) 622 00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:20,294 Maxine, I can't talk now. I'm at work. 623 00:32:20,371 --> 00:32:22,362 MAXINE: Look, I know I fired you. 624 00:32:22,573 --> 00:32:26,065 But if you like, I'm willing to offer you another chance. 625 00:32:26,711 --> 00:32:27,735 Why? 626 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:29,436 This guy keeps calling. 627 00:32:29,514 --> 00:32:32,074 He really wants a private session with you. 628 00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:34,812 And he's starting to offer some serious money. 629 00:32:35,353 --> 00:32:37,480 Come on, what do you say? 630 00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:41,255 How serious are we talking? 631 00:32:44,062 --> 00:32:45,256 Thank you so much for coming. 632 00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:47,127 I cannot tell you what it means to me. 633 00:32:47,198 --> 00:32:49,291 Yeah, yeah. Are you gonna be singing any songs 634 00:32:49,367 --> 00:32:51,892 about a woman who's a back-stabbing bitch? 635 00:32:51,936 --> 00:32:54,734 We are really looking forward to it, Emma. Good luck. 636 00:32:54,772 --> 00:32:56,171 Thanks. 637 00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:59,842 Would you get over it already? Why don't we go sit down with our friends? 638 00:32:59,911 --> 00:33:00,935 No. 639 00:33:01,112 --> 00:33:04,604 I'm sick of Lynette making those Cyrano de Bergerac jokes, 640 00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:05,741 whoever she was. 641 00:33:05,783 --> 00:33:08,581 He. And, baby, they are just teasing you. 642 00:33:08,619 --> 00:33:09,745 It's not funny. 643 00:33:09,921 --> 00:33:12,185 My thing was my natural beauty. 644 00:33:12,256 --> 00:33:15,191 Like Susars an artist, Lynette's a great businesswoman, 645 00:33:15,259 --> 00:33:16,783 Bree's the perfect homemaker. 646 00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:18,523 I was the beautiful one. 647 00:33:18,596 --> 00:33:20,962 Now I'm just the plastic one. 648 00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:27,198 And there's the woman who's to blame. 649 00:33:27,271 --> 00:33:30,638 Man, I would love to smack that smile right off her face, 650 00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:34,668 which, by the way, has been pulled so tight it'd probably smack me back. 651 00:33:35,146 --> 00:33:38,513 I forgot what it's like walking into a room on your arm. 652 00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:39,641 (GIGGLES) I like it. 653 00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:42,881 Baby, I think you are the one they were staring at. 654 00:33:42,954 --> 00:33:45,218 Well, this doesn't hurt. 655 00:33:50,161 --> 00:33:51,628 Hey, Gabby. 656 00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:54,462 I didn't nose you'd be here. 657 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,064 Okay, I don't know what you heard, but it's all crap. 658 00:33:58,136 --> 00:34:01,037 Don't lie. That'll make it grow again. 659 00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:02,367 (BOTH LAUGH) 660 00:34:06,077 --> 00:34:07,135 (SIGHS) 661 00:34:07,178 --> 00:34:08,577 Tell Doug Perry it's on the house. 662 00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:12,141 I'll do it. 663 00:34:23,027 --> 00:34:24,551 It's on the house. 664 00:34:24,629 --> 00:34:27,393 Oh, by the way, she slept with your lawyer. 665 00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:28,557 Enjoy the show. 666 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:35,998 Is that true? 667 00:34:36,974 --> 00:34:40,535 Well, the thing about that is... 668 00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:42,941 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, 669 00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:46,778 the Smokehouse Lounge is proud to present Emma Graham. 670 00:34:47,318 --> 00:34:48,683 (AUDIENCE CLAPPING) 671 00:34:50,488 --> 00:34:51,682 Whoo! Emma! 672 00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:56,726 A word. 673 00:34:57,061 --> 00:34:59,859 Hey, hey, hey, get the claws off the Versace! 674 00:34:59,897 --> 00:35:01,364 Why the hell would you tell him that? 675 00:35:01,399 --> 00:35:03,629 Well, you know me and my big nose. 676 00:35:03,701 --> 00:35:05,896 This is my marriage we're talking about. 677 00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:07,234 This trumps your stupid nose! 678 00:35:07,271 --> 00:35:09,034 Whatever, they're both fake. 679 00:35:09,073 --> 00:35:11,200 What do you know? You're nothing but a boring housewife... 680 00:35:11,242 --> 00:35:12,300 Shut up! 681 00:35:12,376 --> 00:35:14,742 ...whose life is so pathetic you gotta crap all over mine. 682 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:16,072 I'm pathetic? 683 00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:19,777 Hey, what do you call a girl who sleeps with a guy for $8 million? 684 00:35:23,254 --> 00:35:24,414 (SCREAMING) 685 00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:28,717 Get off! 686 00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:31,226 I'm going to kill you! 687 00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:32,422 You whore! 688 00:35:32,897 --> 00:35:34,296 Get off me. 689 00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:37,562 Okay, ladies, please. 690 00:35:39,036 --> 00:35:41,061 I will never forgive you for this. 691 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,833 Sure you will! I'll just buy you a sapphire ring! 692 00:35:43,908 --> 00:35:45,341 You like my ring? 693 00:35:45,409 --> 00:35:47,172 Get ready to smell it! 694 00:35:47,845 --> 00:35:48,903 (GASPING) 695 00:35:48,946 --> 00:35:50,607 Oh, my nose. 696 00:35:50,915 --> 00:35:52,746 My nose. My nose. Oh! 697 00:35:57,922 --> 00:35:59,321 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 698 00:36:07,598 --> 00:36:09,998 Didrt think I'd hear from you again. 699 00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:13,103 Look, I've been thinking about everything that's happened. 700 00:36:13,137 --> 00:36:16,300 You slept with someone, I slept with someone. 701 00:36:17,308 --> 00:36:19,071 Maybe we should just call it even. 702 00:36:20,545 --> 00:36:22,342 - Really? - Yeah. 703 00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:24,905 I mean, that's what we both want, right? 704 00:36:47,171 --> 00:36:49,036 Thank you, dear. 705 00:36:53,344 --> 00:36:56,780 I am so sorry for saying those things about your husband. 706 00:36:57,682 --> 00:36:59,343 I appreciate that. 707 00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:02,750 And I'm sorry if I crossed some sort of line. 708 00:37:03,321 --> 00:37:04,618 No. 709 00:37:04,689 --> 00:37:07,852 It just felt so nice to feel useful again. 710 00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:11,225 You are useful, and I really need you here, 711 00:37:11,262 --> 00:37:13,287 especially when I go back to work. 712 00:37:15,866 --> 00:37:17,265 You know, 713 00:37:17,335 --> 00:37:20,600 the kitchen is my favorite room in the house. 714 00:37:20,671 --> 00:37:23,401 The family sits together here. 715 00:37:23,441 --> 00:37:26,239 You get to cook for them and make them happy. 716 00:37:26,277 --> 00:37:27,801 And I just don't understand 717 00:37:27,878 --> 00:37:31,780 why you would ever wanna give all that up to go out there. 718 00:37:36,854 --> 00:37:38,048 (SIGHS) 719 00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:40,823 It's just who I am. 720 00:37:46,130 --> 00:37:47,392 Mom, 721 00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:48,724 the baby's crying. 722 00:37:48,866 --> 00:37:50,925 Oh! She's probably hungry. 723 00:37:58,376 --> 00:38:00,310 Ooh! Yummy. 724 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,310 I'm so sorry, what's your name again? 725 00:38:06,450 --> 00:38:07,815 I'm Penny. 726 00:38:09,253 --> 00:38:11,244 And do you live here? 727 00:38:20,598 --> 00:38:21,622 Hi. 728 00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:22,724 Hi. 729 00:38:23,668 --> 00:38:25,829 I'm not really used to apologizing. 730 00:38:27,004 --> 00:38:28,335 But here are some chocolates. 731 00:38:28,906 --> 00:38:32,501 I haven't touched a carb since 1985, but thank you. 732 00:38:33,077 --> 00:38:34,806 Believe it or not, 733 00:38:34,845 --> 00:38:38,679 I was actually on my way over to apologize to you. 734 00:38:38,749 --> 00:38:41,217 I don't know what came over me. 735 00:38:41,852 --> 00:38:45,481 Look, I still feel you deserve better than that guy, 736 00:38:45,523 --> 00:38:47,286 but I had no right to screw with your marriage. 737 00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,383 It's your life. 738 00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:50,487 Doug called this morning. 739 00:38:50,528 --> 00:38:52,462 He said he still wants me back. 740 00:38:52,730 --> 00:38:53,856 Oh. 741 00:38:54,265 --> 00:38:55,391 Wow. 742 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:56,994 And I said no. 743 00:38:58,469 --> 00:38:59,527 Seriously? 744 00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,239 He said we could pretend it never happened. 745 00:39:03,307 --> 00:39:04,433 And I thought of all the things 746 00:39:04,475 --> 00:39:06,340 I pretended never happened over the years. 747 00:39:07,378 --> 00:39:08,572 You were right, Gabby. 748 00:39:08,646 --> 00:39:10,671 I needed to open my eyes. 749 00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:16,577 Okay, before I take credit for this, are you sure this is what you want? 750 00:39:16,654 --> 00:39:17,848 Yes. 751 00:39:18,322 --> 00:39:19,584 And thank you. 752 00:39:19,657 --> 00:39:20,715 Out of all the women, 753 00:39:20,791 --> 00:39:23,316 you were the only one who had the guts to tell me the truth. 754 00:39:24,161 --> 00:39:25,526 You're a real friend. 755 00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:28,665 And I'll take that over a sapphire ring any day. 756 00:39:29,233 --> 00:39:30,359 Oh! 757 00:39:31,902 --> 00:39:32,994 You're keeping the ring, right? 758 00:39:33,037 --> 00:39:34,197 Oh, hell, yeah. 759 00:39:58,028 --> 00:39:59,359 Hello? 760 00:40:00,931 --> 00:40:02,091 Is anyone there? 761 00:40:06,203 --> 00:40:07,431 Oh! 762 00:40:07,538 --> 00:40:08,698 Hi. 763 00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:10,772 Are you shy, too? (LAUGHS) 764 00:40:11,509 --> 00:40:12,771 Well, that's okay. 765 00:40:12,843 --> 00:40:14,242 So am I. 766 00:40:15,513 --> 00:40:18,971 Why don't you start with just telling me your name? 767 00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:22,442 I think you know my name. 768 00:40:22,553 --> 00:40:24,282 Oh! Oh! Oh! 769 00:40:24,388 --> 00:40:25,582 (PANTING) 770 00:40:28,125 --> 00:40:29,490 I'm still here, Susan. 771 00:40:46,644 --> 00:40:48,339 I'm glad you put your robe on. 772 00:40:48,412 --> 00:40:50,607 I hate to see you debasing yourself. 773 00:40:53,050 --> 00:40:54,415 What do you want? 774 00:40:55,052 --> 00:40:56,644 I'd like your house. 775 00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:59,280 And I'm willing to pay a very fair price for it. 776 00:41:00,257 --> 00:41:01,918 Yeah, Mike told me about that. 777 00:41:02,993 --> 00:41:04,358 It's not for sale. 778 00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:05,586 Susan, 779 00:41:05,930 --> 00:41:08,694 it seems to me a lot of things are for sale. 780 00:41:08,766 --> 00:41:10,131 Your body, 781 00:41:10,167 --> 00:41:11,532 your honor, 782 00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:13,297 your reputation. 783 00:41:13,737 --> 00:41:17,138 The house would seem to be the smallest of those things. 784 00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:19,268 Are you threatening me? 785 00:41:19,844 --> 00:41:21,436 I'm simply saying it would be 786 00:41:21,779 --> 00:41:25,545 terribly unfortunate if anyone were to find out what I already know. 787 00:41:26,083 --> 00:41:28,813 I mean, I was shocked. 788 00:41:29,086 --> 00:41:31,987 I can only imagine what your husband and son would think. 789 00:41:32,957 --> 00:41:34,857 You son of a bitch. 790 00:41:35,826 --> 00:41:38,317 It's a lot to take in, I know. 791 00:41:39,096 --> 00:41:41,826 Why don't you take a couple of days to think about it? 792 00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:45,393 I'd hate for you to feel that I was pressuring you. 793 00:41:52,843 --> 00:41:55,505 MARY ALICE: He knew what he was doing was wrong. 794 00:41:56,947 --> 00:41:59,643 He knew it was very dangerous. 795 00:42:01,018 --> 00:42:03,987 He knew the risks if people found out. 796 00:42:04,655 --> 00:42:08,819 But Paul Young wanted to punish those who had betrayed him. 797 00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:14,153 So he had a plan that would set neighbor against neighbor. 798 00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:16,666 And friend against friend. 799 00:42:17,635 --> 00:42:19,262 And it was a plan 800 00:42:19,336 --> 00:42:22,032 that was going to succeed.